- You've already planned what you'd say if you ever saw mall security
trying to throw out a girl who decided today was a good day to leave her
shoes at home.
- You know, to the second, how far into U2's "Numb" video the feet
appear.
- You once filled a whole hard drive with feet pics.
- You think Maxim photographers are personally out to get you.
- Other people keep a stack of Playboys behind the bathroom sink - you
keep a stack of Barefoot Mara.
- You wore out your DVDs of Cruel Intentions and X-Men.
- You've ever gone to great lengths to get front row at a concert of
some female musician you don't even like, because someone on the Pad
said she tends to perform barefoot...
- ...and you cried for days because this was the one day she decided
to wear the knee-high boots.
- You tape obscure shows like "Drum Corps Summer Games."
- You cried when you found out those weren't really Kim Basinger's
feet in the Tom Petty video.
- You've been fired for visiting the MousePad at work. Not because the
boss objected to the site's content, but because you were neglecting
your work.
- Foot Patrol, etc. have your shipping address memorized.
- You know by heart the first ten hits you get searching for "barefoot
girl" on each of the major search engines.
- Your homepage is in the first ten hits you get doing the above
search.
- You HATE country music but you never miss a Deanna Carter video.
- You rush to the store to buy the latest issues of all the women's
mags, hoping to "scoop" the Pad.
- Your scanner broke and you just barely survived the suicide attempt
that followed.
- When in conversation with a barefoot woman (hey, it can happen) she
notices you're not staring at her breasts, but she can't quite figure
out what you are staring at.
- You marked your calendar for when Charlotte Church turns legal,
because you found out she likes to leave her shoes backstage.
- You hate Survivor and Real World but you watch them religiously
anyway because there's almost always some female feet visible during the
show.
- You don't want people to know of your fetish, so the "feet" section
of your browser's bookmarks list is called "mortgage" or "quantum
physics" or something else boring-sounding that will discourage anyone
else who uses your browser.
- You realized one day that you'd rather see a woman fully clothed and
barefoot, than naked and wearing shoes and socks.
- You went to Lilith Fair and your neck hurt the whole next day
because you spent the whole show standing near the busiest part of the
lawn, looking down.
- You remember the exact date they stopped showing the Target
commercial with the girl on the trampoline.
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